One Year.

One second.

One minute.

One day.

One year.

I have always found it interesting to find how such finite units of measurement can seem so relatively flexible to us. As children, these units of time can seem to last forever, be it waiting for the next time we would get to go out and play, our next birthday, the time till Mom lets us out of time out, or the countdown until we can open those mysterious Christmas packages. We make statements about how we can't wait for the next summer vacation, to finally graduate, grow up and set off on our own.

I have noticed that as we get older, time seems to slip away ever more quickly, the sand of the hour glass inexorably slipping away, the time zooming past, yet there are certain times where time seems to stand still, the seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours, and days drag on like years. The world continues zooming by, but we are stopped, trapped like an insect in amber. August 4, 2007 is one of those moments where those finite unit of time suddenly blurred, and had no meaning.

August 4th, 2007 was a hot steamy day, one that I had been waiting for with child like enthusiasm, counting the days, thinking it would never come. My family was going to go on a vacation to the mountains, a vacation like we used to take when we were children. Sadly, August 4th turned out to be a day were time stopped. My sister Renee, wife Leah and mother Rachel were in the car behind us, and were involved in a tragic accident. Leah and Rachel were seriously injured, and Renee was killed instantly. Even now, one year to the day, I can clearly remember that day like it was yesterday, yet it still feels like it was a hundred years ago.

For some of us, we had doctor's appointments, physical therapy, and a fight to get back healthy. We all had tears, sorrow and the pain of loss. Time once again resumed its normal pace, the sand eroding away, the wounds healing, the shadow of sorrow fading, and joy beginning to brighten the day. We all had to face this journey to recovery our own distinct ways, each of our efforts to recover different, but yet together. We find ourselves still facing challenges, but each day is a little easier, even though some days are harder then others, I believe we are all going to find joy returning to our lives. All of us will never be able to express the gratitude for all the help, support and love that we have been given from strangers, friends and family. We are fortunate to have been exposed to so many wonderful people, who continue to help us on our way.

Renee was a wonderful sister, daughter, wife and friend to all of us. She brought us joy and laughter, and reminded us to cherish life, to make the most of all those fleeting seconds, and to approach life with a smile and a laugh. She approached life the right way, taking precious seconds to smile at a stranger, make music with a student, laugh with a friend, tease her brother and sister, make a mother and father proud, and help her husband be the wonderful man he is today. We were fortunate for her time with us, and those of us she took the time to touch are better for it. I know she is up there in heaven, spreading joy and music.

I approach August 4th, not as a time to remember pain, suffering, loss and tragedy, but as a day to remember all the good things about life, to laugh, to smile, and most importantly, to cherish the opportunities I have to tell those people I love how much I love them. August 4th is a reminder to take the time, all those finite grain of the hourglass, and to make the most of the opportunities we have to spread the joy, laughter and love to one another.

One year.

Three hundred sixty six days.

Five hundred twenty seven thousand forty minutes.

Thirty one million six hundred twenty two thousand four hundred chances to love in one year.

Amazing how flexible time really can be...

Please take some time and view this slide show of Renee, living life how she wanted to live it, with laughter, joy and music. Please be patient, it takes a little time to load...

Renee Kristin Hall Ramsey

Omaha Update - Rachel's Post Surgery Status 3-3-08

A real quick update for everyone on Rachel's status, post K&K (Knees and Knuckles) surgery on Friday. Both surgeries went extremely well, and they were able to clean out a significant amount of scar tissue and loose cartilage out of the knee. The doctor was very pleased with the results, and thinks that Rachel will have few issues with the knee after she has a little rehab.

Her knuckle surgery was also a success, and the doctor was able to get her large knuckles (knuckles closest to the palm) to flex almost 90 degrees, which was about an 70 degree improvement on range of motion. She had to have the fingers splinted so that the knuckles remained flexed over the weekend, but will be going in for some PT Tuesday morning to begin th eprocess of moving the knuckles and regaining the motion. This is very important, as the sooner she is able to move the knuckles, the sooner she will be able to gain some dexterity in the fingers, allowing her to be able to do things like use a pen, and pick up small objects.

Overall, the surgeries went well, and she seemed to be feeling pretty good.

"The Renee Hall Ramsey Memorial Endowed Scholarship Fund"

Dear Friends and Family,

The holiday season has finally ended, and life is moving back to this quasi norm that we have become familiar with in the last five months. Leah is going strong again. In fact, the good news is that she will shortly be ending her physical therapy sessions. Her strength has returned, her right arm has nearly a full range of motion, and she is back working full time for St. James.

Rachel is gaining strength daily as well. She still goes to PT/OT weekly, and is becoming a familiar face to the whole staff. In fact, she drove herself to therapy the other day, and let one of her physical therapist know that on her way in to see her ankle orthopedist. By the time she made it back to Physical Therapy the word had spread throughout the facility that she was driving. They all cheer for her daily.

On Thursday, Rachel goes in for out-patient surgery on her right shoulder. She has what the physicians colloquially call a “frozen shoulder”. They will do arthroscopic surgery and make four incisions then remove and scar tissue or impediments to her moving the humorous head in the socket. Then Friday, she goes back to PT and starts working hard at keeping that arm and shoulder working. And, so our life goes on!

Many of you have asked about a memorial for Renee, and I have been remiss in passing along the information on her memorial in the most conducive method possible; ie.. this blog site. Zack’s mother, Jane, and Renee’s friend Paige put a lot of work into getting a memorial scholarship set up with Oklahoma State University. The fund will be called "The Renee Hall Ramsey Memorial Endowed Scholarship Fund". The goal is to give an out-of-state violinist scholarship assistance to attend OSU. Renee attended OSU for her bachelor’s degree completely on scholarships. She then finished her Master Degree in violin pedagogy at Texas Tech University, again almost completely on scholarships. The fund is intended to provide the same assistance to violinists on a self perpetuating basis long after all of us are off celebrating with Renee in another life.

If you wish to participate, you may send a check to The OSU Foundation, 400 South Monroe, Stillwater, OK 74074. Make the check out to The OSU Foundation, and in the memo line "The Renee Hall Ramsey Memorial Endowed Scholarship Fund" Equity Number 2289600. The OSU Foundation will mail you a Tax Receipt and a Thank you note. They will also let Zach know who has made contributions. For those of you whom have already contributed, and those whom plan to contribute in the future, my entire family can not say “Thank you” enough.

Jay, Renee, Britanie, Leah and Zach’s Dad

December 19 - Renee's Birthday...

Just wanted to post a quick little note today... Today would have been Renee's 26th birthday. Renee was our Christmas Angel, not only because she was born during the Christmas season, but because she so loved to celebrate Christmas. She was well known for pulling out all the stops when it came to decorating, always had Christmas carols playing as soon as the Thanksgiving feast was cleared, immaculately wrapped presents (although, for her birthday you better make darn sure that it was BIRTHDAY paper and not Christmas wrapping paper) and most importantly a huge smile and a hug, and a genuine joy for the season. The next few weeks are going to be very difficult, as we will be going thru a time where family is the most important part of the celebration, and Renee's absence will be especially poignant.


I also just wanted to pass on a little note I got from my mom, Rachel today...

I just keep thinking of the days when Renee was born. It was very cold - sub zero ( -8 ) so my mom was worried the car wouldn't start if she had to come in the middle of the night. My brother Karl was home from college and spent the evening with us. We finished the last of
our Christmas cards and Karl mailed them on the way home to Mom & Dad's. They had gone to a Christmas party. I had a terrible cold those last few days, so my doctor gave me a super decongestant so that I could breathe freely while doing Lamaze. I can remember driving
through the still, snowy empty streets...the few cars we saw had the exhaust forming the white smoke in the frigid air.

Renee was born at 6:15 - a Saturday. We were able to keep her with us for the next hour and a half. She was awake the whole time. We called people from the birthing room. My Dad was amazed he could hear her soft cries over the phone.

My sister, Kathy, was singing with her husband in Greenland. The night when I was in labor, she had a dream in which we had a little girl.

That Christmas was so peaceful since my only job was to feed and care for our new daughter.

Love, Rachel


I also would like to show a tribute that one of Renee's good friends made for Renee. He was a good friend from her time at Texas Tech, and was someone who shared the gift of music with Renee, and who traveled with her to Honduras to teach music to the children down there. I missed getting his name during all the confusion and emotional turmoil at the funeral, but the credit is all his. The music is an original piece, composed for Renee, after her friend found out about her passing. This tribute shows how my wonderful sister lived and celebrated her life...

Renee's Tribute

Please be patient, it takes some time to load...

Happy Birthday Renee!

J

8/14/07 Update from Omaha

Real quick update as I have an early day tomorrow with various appointments. We had another good day here in Omaha, Leah continues to be in good spirits and is showing signs of improvement on her PT. Some of the exercises continue to be difficult, especially as her back will get tight, and moving some of those muscles can be difficult once she is tensed up. We met with a family doctor and got a blood check to verify her cumidin levels (2.2, which was good), and set up some appointments for the next stage of the recovery. Leaving the hospital was a big accomplishment, but only a small step in a very long road.

We have had a number of visitors stop by and say hi. We really enjoy the visits, as they bring lots of cheer and a new face of someone who cares for us. We thank all fo those who have stopped by, and look forward to more visitors.

I would like to thank all of the people who have sent cards, flowers, and emails to us. All of these help keep our spirits upbeat. We can not express our gratitude enough to all of those who have pitched in and helped, talked to us, or in someway kept us in your thoughts and prayers.

We did have a bit of a down moment, as Leah felt very frustrated at her inability to do much. She realized that she is not going to be able to work much in the next few weeks, and is frustrated that she can't help me more. She felt that she was a bit of a "burden and a broken person." I attempted to allay these concerns, and have kind of expected some of these thoughts to arise, as Leah is a very independent and driven woman, who hates to not be involved in the action. I know that these next few weeks are going to be trying for her, and I hope that we will be able to deal with these concerns as the time comes.

Oh, please note my father's update from Denver below. There is new room information and contact info. Please continue to send Rachel emails, as they very much help keep the spirits upbeat there in Denver.

Thanks once again to all of you out there.

J