Finally an update!

Its been a while since I last blogged, but I haven’t been feeling very inspired, in fact I pretty much have felt like being a complete bump on a log the last few days. The wife finished her vacation, and went back to work, and since she is working lots of evening shifts, it means I get some quality time with the couch, sports on the TV, and an opportunity to check my eyelids for holes. Now, with me feeling a distinct lack of motivation to do anything, and future home improvements postponed due to rain, which usually is a good source of material for my blogs) I struggled to come up with something to write about. Good news for you though, I still have that wonder of our modern age, the object that so many of us turn to for comfort and nurture, television.

Now during my bonding sessions with the couch, I also noticed a very strange trend in commercials. Now you might be thinking, “what this guy actually watches commercials?” Just stick with me here for a minute though, because I know you might think I am a bit twisted in the head (and you would be right!) but I find commercials to be wonderful source of laughter for myself. You see, I have a bit of an analytical side to me, which when combined with my sarcastic side, and my common sense side tends to see right thru marketers claims of hoards of cash, beautiful people, and miraculous drugs that are able to cure any ailment and give us a life of running thru fields of flowers in slow motion.

My poor wife has to deal with this eccentricity all the time, as she and I often watch shows together. Well watching might be a bit of a misnomer, as usually I am making wise cracks about each and every commercial, and adding my own commentary track to the latest MTV or reality drivel that tends to appear on our screen, ala one of those robots on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Now the wife has to deal with this because she is contractually stuck with me (in fact she has a clause in that contract that I have to be flattering to her on this blog or she will no longer do guest appearances,) so she usually cranks the volume up higher and leaves me to just mumble a stream of consciousness to myself. The wife accompanies the volume increase maneuver with one of those looks that I mentioned earlier, you know the one that says my husband is doing something strange and I really wish he were more like the normal kids. But I digress.

So here I am giving a running commentary on commercials when a General Motors commercial comes on touting how their vehicles come with OnStar. At first glance it looked like one of those generic On* commercials with a bunch of bland people touting how On* saved them. But wait! What is this? Where are the adults? Kids doing an On* commercial? This makes sense, as people with rug rats tend to want to be safe, and since most people can’t afford or don’t really want to drive a beige Volvo, the kids questioning their parents about who will provide the benefits of ON* seems to make sense. However, one line grabs my attention. A child who looks to be around 11-13 in age says this great line:

“Who will find my baby brother when the car he was in alone is stolen?”

Okay… stop and think about that for just one second. Baby brother: Check. Baby brother alone: Check. Stolen car: Che… Hey that’s not right! Something in that thought process just doesn’t add up! Isn’t this a bit drastic to be asking of a satellite tracking/fleet management system to also be doing the parenting? Why is the BABY brother in the car ALONE in the first place? Now why is the baby brother in the car alone long enough for it to be stolen? This commercial just seems to say “if you have the almighty On Star, its okay to leave the car running, the baby strapped in while you go and get your Valium prescription.”

Does this strike anyone else as completely absurd?

Okay I realize that this update was a bit half assed, so I will try to use my whole ass for the next one! On a side note, the kitchen got repainted, and looks wonderful. Maybe I should post some pics of our ordeals.
J